My Soul Then Sings Read online

  “No, I learned last night,” Patricia said with a slight quiver. She looked away, hating the necessary lie.

  Ryan and Patricia had both agreed on partial disclosure during the flight. Brian and Karlie didn’t need to know about Patricia’s paying the technician to say Karlie was his daughter. He knew if they told them everything, Brian would feel as if this was like old times when they had been too obsessed with each other to pay him any attention. They reasoned that after hearing the news, Brian would need his mother’s comfort.

  Karlie found her voice and stood. “I can’t believe this is happening.” She pointed an accusatory finger Ryan’s way. “You’re a selfish, wicked man. What about Neil and Myra? They’ve been my parents for years.”

  Ryan started to speak.

  “Why are you telling me now?” Karlie interrupted. “Don’t tell me you need a kidney or something because I’m not . . .” Her voice broke. “I don’t believe this is happening.”

  “What do you mean you think?” Brian asked. He now stood near the front door. He looked ready to bolt. Ryan suspected if it weren’t for Karlie, Brian would have been long gone.

  Ryan had prepared the answer. “I paid the technician to say Clifford was Karlie’s father.”

  Brian’s eyebrows furrowed. “You’re a vile excuse for a human being.” He addressed his mother. “Why you love him is beyond me.”

  Ryan’s heart hurt. He was going to lose his son. He pinned Patricia with a look of sheer panic. His worst fear was happening.

  “I love him despite his mistakes,” Patricia said.

  Karlie clenched her fists. “You paid someone to tell me the man who raped my mother fathered me.”

  Fear hit his chest. With staccato breaths, Ryan said, “I’m sorry. I panicked. I didn’t think you deserved me as a father. I mean, look at how Brian had been acting at the time . . .”

  Brian pounced from the door and grabbed Ryan by the shirt. “You’re trying to blame me for your deception? You’re demented if you think that I’m going to accept that sorry excuse.”

  Patricia grabbed Brian’s arm. “Let your father go.”

  Karlie jumped in. “Brian, please don’t.”

  Brian complied and snaked her into his arms. “Karlie, I’m so sorry this is happening. We have to get this all figured out.”

  Karlie cried, “What if I’m your sister? The whole world is going to say I’m sick and twisted. They have us in love and all that. You kissed me on YouTube.”

  Brian shushed her. “It was on the forehead. You don’t know for sure that we’re related.”

  “Karlie, I know you’re angry, but I need you to agree to a paternity test. That’s the only way to know for sure,” Ryan said. He dabbed at the sweat on his forehead with his hands.

  Karlie ignored him.

  “Ryan, I think it’s time we leave,” Patricia said, picking up her purse. “We have to catch our flight home.”

  “But I bought tickets for them to come back with us,” Ryan protested. “We need to do the paternity test . . .”

  Ryan trailed off. Brian swung his gaze Ryan’s way.

  Brian’s eyes were like a sword cutting into the flesh of Ryan’s soul. His heart skipped a beat from certain fear.

  As Ryan and Patricia headed back to the airport, Brian’s face stayed with him. Deep down, Ryan knew that even if he had gained a daughter, he had most definitely lost his son.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Karlie cried until her eyes hurt. Crumpled tissues filled her jeans pockets. Holding Brian’s hand, they walked the trail along the path of the hotel. The landscaping and ducks floating in the scenic path escaped her. Her life was about to spin out of control.

  “I think we should withdraw from the show,” Karlie said. “I’ve already called Winona and left a message for her to call back.”

  Brian grasped her shoulders. “No. We’re not quitting.”

  They wandered over to the bench a few feet from the pond and sat close together.

  “How am I going to tell Neil?” Karlie asked.

  “I’ll come with you,” Brian said. “I don’t think there’s an easy way to tell Neil that my father was a selfish . . . Ugh . . . I hate him!” Brian gritted his teeth.

  Karlie touched his arm. “Don’t say that. Hate is a strong word.”

  “It’s the right word, and you should hate him too,” he said. “I’m glad they went home. I don’t get why you’re not agreeing with me. What my father did was foul. And please don’t say it’s the God in you or spout some religious jargon like that.”

  “Believe me, if I was a cursing woman, I’d have peppered his ears,” Karlie said. She gazed toward the pond. “Losing a parent changes you. My mother isn’t here for me to hate or get mad at.”

  Tears rolled down her face. Karlie struggled to speak her true pain. “I’m furious with your dad—”

  “Call him Ryan,” Brian said. “That’s what I’m calling him from now on.”

  Karlie sighed. “I’m furious with your dad, but I’m mad my mother isn’t here for the truth. I lied to her when it turns out that I didn’t have to.” She faced Brian. “Do you know what that was like? Lying to a dying woman? I couldn’t tell her Clifford was my father. I told her it was Thomas. I lied because I thought it was the best thing to do.”

  Brian lifted a hand. “Don’t even compare the two. You were protecting your mother. Ryan was only protecting himself.”

  Karlie agreed with Brian’s logic. She wanted to hate Ryan, but what was the point? She needed to conserve her energy for her real battle—telling Neil and Myra, and then convincing Neil not to kill Ryan. Saved or not, Neil had a vicious protective streak. She didn’t need him ending up in jail.

  “I don’t think I even want to know if Ryan is my father,” Karlie decided. “Why bother finding out?”

  Brian’s eyebrows shot to the top of his head. “Are you crazy? Of course you need to know. I need to know if you’re my sister.”

  She recalled Brian’s declaration earlier in the room. Lowering her eyes to her hands, Karlie asked, “Is it because you think you have feelings for me?”

  He cupped her chin and pierced her with his eyes. “Don’t go daft on me now. You know there’s something between us.”

  Karlie shook her head. “I . . . I don’t know what you mean.”

  “You spent the night in my bed,” Brian said.

  “You were sick,” she replied.

  Brian brought his face an inch away from hers. “Your mouth denies it, but I see your chest heaving up and down. I see your eyes flaring as you wonder if your supposed brother is about to kiss you. I see you’re appalled but curious at the thought. You’re revolted that even knowing what you know, you’re still attracted to me.”

  Karlie exhaled.

  He moved away from her, folded his arms, and faced the water. “Don’t pretend otherwise. You slept next to me because you wanted to.”

  Karlie nervously licked her lips. “I’m a child of God. I wasn’t going to have sex with you.”

  Brian chuckled. “I know that, but you’re a woman. You slept with me for intimacy, and that’s more dangerous than sex.”

  She couldn’t deny his perceptiveness. “I’m drawn to you,” she admitted. “But maybe genetics is the reason.” Any other reason was unthinkable. She was in love with Jamaal.

  He glanced at her and snorted. “If it makes this easier, then go ahead and tell yourself that.”

  Karlie pulled out her cell. It had been buzzing with alarming fury. She swiped to check her missed calls and messages. She noted Patricia’s and Winona’s missed calls, but it was Jamaal’s text that made her drop the phone.

  “What is it?” Brian bent down and retrieved her phone from the dewy grass. He swiped the screen.

  “Jamaal’s on his way back here.” She grasped her forehead. “Can this day get any worse?”

  Karlie watched Brian’s mouth hang open as wide as an alligator’s as he stared at the screen. “You sent Jamaal a text of us
sleeping together?”

  “I thought it was you,” Karlie said, chewing her bottom lip. “I sent it to you as a prank. I must’ve messed up and sent the text to Jamaal.”

  “Yes, well, apparently Jamaal wants to jack me up, and he’s on his way here to make good on his threat.” Brian looked at his watch.

  Jacked up was not the word Jamaal had used in his text. Karlie had been struck dumb at his profanity-laced text message. That was at 5:30 a.m. She half-expected Jamaal to come tearing across the lawn any moment. She did not relish the scuffle between the two men.

  “Why did I take that picture?” she moaned.

  “Let me see the photo again,” Brian asked.

  She flipped through her camera shots and held up the photo for him to see.

  Brian studied it for several seconds before handing her phone back to her. “No wonder they say a picture is worth a thousand words.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Look for yourself,” he said. “Look at your face, and then tell me you feel nothing.”

  Karlie forced herself to look at the picture. She was sort of spooning Brian. Her hair hung loose down her shoulders, but her face struck her. Even in the dim lighting she noted her relaxed face and her eyes sparkled with a hint of—seduction? Promise?

  “We look . . .” she trailed off. Like a couple.

  “Peaceful?” Brian said. He took the phone to take another look. “We look like people who have been . . .” he used his hands to form quotation marks, “‘sleeping’ together for years.”

  Karlie shook her head. “No, we don’t.”

  “Yes, we do.” Brian tucked his hand under her head to rest it on his shoulder. “Even now, sitting here together, our chemistry is undeniable.”

  Listening to the ripples in the water and observing the beautiful scenery, Karlie gave a tender smile. She captured a brief glimpse of heaven and took a snapshot in her mind.

  “You feel it too, don’t you?” he asked.

  Karlie lifted her head to meet his gaze. Their gazes locked. Brian ran his hands through her hair, then he touched her cheek. An electric shock jolted her.

  She jumped to her feet. “Let’s go back.”

  Brian nodded and stood to join her. They strolled up the path.

  As they rounded the corner to reenter the hotel, Karlie saw Jamaal bounding their way. She grabbed Brian’s arm. “He’s here! Oh my goodness!”

  Brian assumed a linebacker position. He was ready for the impact.

  “Jamaal!” Karlie cried. “Let me explain!” She ran in his direction.

  Jamaal cut his eyes at her but kept moving.

  “It’s not what you think!” she cried.

  Both men ignored her. Profanity-laced insults rolled off their tongues like old worn sailors. Karlie’s mouth hung open. “Stop it!” she begged.

  She rushed to Jamaal and shook his shirt so hard she stretched it to twice its original size.

  Jamaal swatted away her hand like it was a pesky fly and addressed Brian. “I’m tired of you eyeing my woman! You can have any girl on campus! Why you want this one?”

  Brian’s chest heaved. “And you have her but want every other girl on campus.”

  Jamaal backed up.

  Karlie’s heart slammed into her chest. Had she heard right? She hoped not. “Brian, what do you mean by that?”

  Brian shook his head but didn’t answer.

  Karlie pierced Jamaal with a steady gaze. Through gritted teeth, she asked, “Care to explain?”

  Jamaal looked away.

  “Drop it, Karlie,” Brian said. He wiped his sweaty face. “I don’t know what I meant. Just talking trash.”

  Karlie wasn’t buying it. “I don’t believe you.” She stomped into Jamaal’s space and jabbed a French-tipped nail into his chest. “Is this because I didn’t sleep with you? What about the promise we made to God and to each other?” She sobbed. “Jamaal, who is she?”

  “Turn the camera off,” she heard Brian say.

  Karlie hadn’t even noticed Griffin and Yentl’s arrival, and that they had been taping the whole debacle. “No cameras!”

  “We signed with the network so we work for them now, and this is news,” Yentl stated.

  Griffin kept it rolling.

  Never in her life did Karlie think her life would become Internet fodder, but she didn’t care. Right now, she needed her boyfriend to man up and admit his wrongdoings so she could wring his neck.

  “I’ll tell you if you tell me what you meant by this.” Jamaal dug for his phone and shoved the picture into her face. “You slept with Brian?”

  She clenched her fists. She wasn’t going to be distracted from his treachery. “Nice try, but I won’t be sidetracked.”

  Jamaal wheeled away and marched in the direction of the hotel. No matter how she yelled and threatened, he kept moving.

  Karlie realized he had no intention of slowing down. “Jamaal!” she screamed, springing into motion. Everything was falling apart in her life. Her identity and all she knew was under question. She could not let her one constant go. She raced up the path and made it to the entrance in time to see Jamaal walking toward the cabstand. “Jamaal! Wait! How could you do this to me?” she screamed.

  Jamaal stopped.

  “Where do you think you’re going? You’re not going anywhere without telling me the truth. I can’t believe you were just going to leave like that.” Her chest heaved when she reached his side. “I need an explanation.”

  He glared. “Brian had no right to bring that up. He’s such a troublemaker.”

  “This is not about Brian. It’s about you and me. Answer me,” she said through clenched teeth. “I deserve the truth. You owe me that much.”

  Jamaal looked around. “Can we not do this here?”

  “Right here. Right now,” she said, pointing to the ground.

  “Once. Okay!” Jamaal tore out. “It happened once.”

  Karlie’s stomach lurched. She curled over. “Oh, I can’t believe this . . .”

  He rested a hand on her shoulder. The fire from her eyes was hot enough to melt steel.

  With a rage that would do Carrie proud from the movie bearing her name, Karlie gritted out, “Don’t touch me, you . . . you . . . Grimy sorry excuse for a thug! You’re not who I thought you were, Jamaal. For six years I’ve been by your side. Six years! I haven’t been with anyone because I was waiting to marry you. For you to be my first. And you played me. You made me look like a fool before everyone.”

  “No, Karlie. I promise you it wasn’t like that. It just happened. I’m sorry. You’ve got to believe me.”

  “Get outta my face. I don’t believe a word coming out of your mouth.” Karlie clenched her lips. “We’re through.”

  Jamaal’s eyes widened. “No. I made a mistake. I love you. I want to be with—”

  “Don’t even talk about love to me,” she yelled. “I wish I never met you. I’m done. Done with you.”

  Jamaal shook his head. “Please. I’m sorry . . . We can’t end like this.”

  Karlie folded her arms. “We can. I’m done.” He must have realized there was no getting through to her.

  “For what it’s worth, I love you. I always will,” he said before hailing a cab.

  Karlie stood rooted until the cab disappeared from sight, taking the love of her life with it. She hugged her arms feeling chilled despite the humidity. “I’ve lost him,” she whispered as tears fell. “I have no one.”

  Brian hugged her from behind. He rubbed his cheek against hers. “Nonsense. You have me. You always have me.”

  She swung to face him. Karlie had not even heard him approach.

  “I was talking with Yentl and Griffin so you and Jamaal could talk without them in your face.”

  She crooked her head. “Why didn’t you tell me about Jamaal? I thought you were my friend.”

  “I—I wasn’t sure if it was true, and it wasn’t my place. Besides, I’m a friend to both of you, and there is a brother code. I
f I had told you, I don’t think you would have believed me, but now I see I should have said something. I’m sorry, Karlie,” he said. “The last thing I would want to do is hurt you in any way. Please know that.”

  “You and I are best friends. Forget the brother code. You should have told me. I feel like a fool.” Her body shook, and she cried in earnest then. “I feel so alone right now.”

  Brian hugged her tight. “You’re not alone. You have me. I’m here.”

  Karlie shoved out of his arms. “No, I don’t. I don’t have you. I can’t have you. I don’t have anyone.”

  “Yes, you do have someone.” Brian pointed toward the heavens. “You have God.”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  “Man to man, that was a foul move you made, Brian,” Jamaal said. “We’re boys, and you were supposed to have my back.”

  Brian had called him three times before Jamaal picked up his cell. He knew Jamaal only answered to press him for information on how Karlie was doing.

  Karlie had retreated to her room filled with despondency. Brian’s suggestion that she pray fell on deaf ears.

  Brian adjusted his earpiece. “I told Karlie the truth because you had no right to attack me when you’re doing some creepy things. You say you’re all about God, but you’re only for Him on Sabbaths. I heard all about you and Camesha Jones.”

  Jamaal’s harsh intake of breath rippled in Brian’s ear. “How do you know her name?”

  Brian heard the shock in Jamaal’s voice. “Nikki and Camesha are friends. She wanted to tell Karlie, but I stopped her.”

  “I didn’t know Camesha and Nikki knew each other. It happened once. One time when I was dumb enough to attend a frat party. But I’ve wised up since then. I love Karlie. I’ve loved her since high school, and she’s the one for me.”

  “The fact that you stepped out on Karlie and smashed Camesha proves she’s not the one.”

  “No, it only shows I’m human. I made a mistake. I’ve gone to God about it, but I had no intention of telling Karlie. I didn’t want to hurt her.”

  “Keeping the truth from her is just as hurtful. With all these diseases prevalent today, it’s also harmful.”